RESTORING REAL BONDS 🔗

           In today’s fast-paced world, the art of meaningful connection feels like a rare gem, buried beneath the constant flow of notifications, tasks, and the pressure to always be "on." We interact with people every day, but often, these interactions feel rushed, shallow, and devoid of the emotional depth that truly binds us together. This change in how we connect is something I’ve struggled with personally, and Gabriel Okara’s poem

                      "Once Upon a Time" 

deeply resonates with me in this regard.

       In the poem, the speaker reflects on a time when people were genuine, when smiles came from the heart, and when every handshake carried warmth and sincerity. Okara describes a world where emotional honesty has given way to hollow pleasantries, where people wear smiles like masks and go through life with rehearsed gestures. As I look around at my own experiences, I can’t help but feel the same way. In my own life, I've noticed how easy it is to fall into patterns of surface-level interactions. I’ll often ask people how they are, fully expecting to hear “I’m fine,” and, without thinking, move on to the next thing. The rhythm of life can feel like a whirlwind, leaving little room for the kind of honest, heartfelt connection Okara’s speaker yearns for. But despite the fast pace, I’ve also experienced the other side. There have been moments when I've paused—just for a second—and truly listened to someone. Whether it's a close friend, a sibling, or even a stranger, giving someone my undivided attention opens a door to a deeper connection. I remember once when I reached out to a friend after a long time apart. Instead of exchanging the usual, “How are you? I’m good,” I asked them, “How are you really doing?” That small shift led to a deep conversation where they shared their fears, hopes, and dreams. It was a reminder that, despite the busy world we live in, people still crave real connection. It’s something that we often forget in the rush of our daily routines, but these moments of vulnerability and sincerity are the very essence of what it means to be human.

Okara’s poem touches on this beautifully, with the speaker longing to regain the innocence and authenticity of their youth. The speaker even wishes to learn again from their child, to smile “like they used to,” free of pretense or the weight of societal expectations. As I think about this, I’m reminded of the innocence we all lose as we grow up—when we become more guarded, more afraid to be vulnerable. I see it in myself, too. As a child, I was carefree and open, willing to embrace anyone with a smile and conversation. Now, I sometimes feel the pressure to act a certain way, to say the right things, to fit into the mold society has shaped for me.

     But I don’t want that to be the story of my life. Like the speaker in "Once Upon a Time," I want to reclaim the sincerity I once had, and I believe that starts with small, intentional actions. I’ve begun making a conscious effort to slow down. For instance, instead of just sending a quick “hi” to someone I care about, I’ll take the time to share a memory, a song, or something that reminds me of them. A little personal touch that shows, "I’m thinking of you." I’ve started calling people instead of relying on text messages and trying to carve out time for face-to-face interactions, even if it’s just over a cup of tea.

One of the most fulfilling experiences for me has been reconnecting with my family. Life can be chaotic, with responsibilities pulling us in different directions, but I’ve found that making time for my loved ones brings a sense of grounding and joy that nothing else can replace. Sitting with my brother for our usual banter, exchanging warm hugs, or even just taking a walk with a close friend has reminded me of the beauty in simple, genuine connections. These are the moments that restore my faith in the power of human connection. And that’s the key lesson I’ve taken from Okara’s poem and my personal journey: connection doesn’t have to be grand or complicated. It’s in the little things. It’s in showing up for someone, being fully present, and offering a smile that isn’t just a reflex but an invitation to share a moment of real joy. Yes, the world is busy, and technology often keeps us at arm’s length, but we have the power to make our interactions meaningful again.